I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
