Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
