hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
