I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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