it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
