I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
