I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
i believe in u and ur pee
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
Randomize
