just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
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