you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
