Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
