you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
