Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize
