Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Randomize
