You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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