The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
