Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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