Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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