I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
