just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
