So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
