if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
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