we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
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Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
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He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
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