You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
