We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
