so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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