That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize