Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
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