Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Your penis caused this!
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