Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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