im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
There r osticjed everywhere
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Randomize
