All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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