why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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