i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Randomize
