You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
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