Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.