I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.