Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck