Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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