When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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