Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
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