i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
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