No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
