It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
