It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
