my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
