2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
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