I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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