you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Randomize
