Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
