Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
