So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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