What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I have fence marks all over my body
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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