I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Randomize
