I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
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