WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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