I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
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