five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
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