But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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