hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
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