Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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